Ah, sisters, so you’re heading out on an epic Latin American journey all on your own! We are the growing number of women solo travelers.
We call it “Sola” or “Solita!”
I know, your family and friends have all questioned you repeatedly with “But is it safe?”
Indeed, it is much safer than many would think. You only have to take a few precautions, the same as you would have to do at home. Or, as they say in Colombia, “No dar papaya” which means “Don’t give papaya”, or don’t make yourself a target.
I’ve been doing it since 1988, and besides a few irritating moments, I’ve had nary a problem. Let me show you some of the things I’ve learned myself along the way, and I hope you can use them to keep your worries at bay (and all those who worry for you).
(And yes, men travelers, some of these tips can be useful to keep you safe, too!)
After years of traveling in Latin America, I noticed how prevalent and idolized Hollywood movies and TV shows are in this region. I have often wondered if, perhaps, the way women are portrayed in many movies influences how Latino men think about foreign women. Yes, we all know Hollywood is in the U.S., but who can tell one fair-skinned foreigner from the other, right?
Think about how Hollywood portrays women: how they dress, how they behave. In too many cases, Hollywood sends a message that women are rather loose, as if ready to jump into bed with anything that moves.
Our solution as women solo travelers is to dress and act anti-Hollywood. Surprise both men and women you meet that you don’t fit the stereotype or fit the mold. That will create just enough confusion to create the personal space you need.
Speaking of stereotypes …
We have all heard how macho Latinos are. Um, the words and concepts macho or machismo come from Latin American Spanish and Latin American culture.
But before we rush to judgment, let’s take a step back and look at our own societies with a critical eye.
First off, how shocked were your family and friends when you announced you would be going alone – as a woman – to Latin America? Would they have been as shocked if it were a male relative or friend?
Where you live, can a woman walk alone at night with the same sense of security as a man? What do people perceive of her if she goes to a nightclub alone, compared to a man doing the same thing? What are the statistics of sexual/ physical/ spousal/mate abuse against women as compared to the same statistics of men in your home country? How many businesses are owned by women in your country? What is the custom of keeping one’s birth surname upon marriage? How about the “glass ceiling” and pay equality? Just how much equal rights do women really have where you come from?
I think when you take all that in, we must admit that even in our “enlightened” societies, macho-ism exists and affects our daily lives no less than it does in Latin America. It just wears a different face.
What I advise is when you are packing your bags, pack the same skills you use in your own country to assert yourself as an equal to men. These most often come from your workplace and thus travel with a strong executive demeanor.
It is true that with each generation, women’s rights have gotten better. We are making progress. However, at times it seems to me that younger people have no idea how far we have come.
Before you travel out on your own and experience attitudes about women in another culture, just have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother, your grandmother, your aunts, or other older women relatives or friends about what it was like for women back in their earlier days. Get the low-down about how it was for them growing up and coming into womanhood. What could a woman do? What could she not? Where could she go? Where not?
To give you an idea of what it was like when I was growing up, it wasn’t until I was in sixth grade that we could wear pants to school (but no jeans or corduroys). When my older sister was in high school, teachers were still measuring skirts to make sure that they were no more than 14 inches off the ground! You had to be careful about riding a bike so you didn’t rip your hymen, and not use tampons for the same reason!
And in the adult world, a married woman couldn’t practice a profession using her maiden name, let alone enter many professions; a restriction that would exist well into the 1980s. A woman couldn’t get her own credit card. A married woman couldn’t get birth control without her husband’s permission.
In many areas of Latin America, women’s lives are just as they were 30 or 40 years ago in our own societies, and if you’re not prepared to witness that, you may react to it in a way that will be destructive to your traveling relationships.
Even though we are women solo travelers, remember that we are also women in that society where we are traveling, albeit temporarily, and other women will be expecting us to adapt to the norms of their culture, regardless if those are not the norms of your or my culture.
Wherever you go, talk with the women you meet. You will meet plenty, as many inns, shops and market stalls in Latin America are run by women! Visit women’s centers, and volunteer in one if you have the time.
Ask local women about the customs where you are, what you should know about dress and behavior that will keep you safe and respected. Ask about their lives and what it’s like for women in their society. Tell them about what life is like for you in your society.
Speak from the heart. Help to create bridges of understanding between your and their societies.
There is no better way for you to learn about women’s struggles where you are traveling. It can assure them that you aren’t a stereotypical Hollywood character out after their men and they can provide you with an important support network should something happen to you.
Take a look at the women in Latin America and take a cue from them. How are they dressing? Where do they go – and not go?
Sleeveless shirts may be seen as risqué. In some areas, women still use shorts and a t-shirt to swim instead of bathing suits. Do women wear shorts in public? Heads up, men – this is true for you too.
Where do “decent” women NOT go, especially alone or in a group of other women? There is still much prejudice against women entering bars, discos or pool halls.
Additionally, keep in mind that even informal chitchat with a man might be interpreted as a sexual invitation.
You will undoubtedly be considered an oddity out traveling on your own without a male companion. So, a few disguises might be in order.
If the topic comes up, you can always say that your “husband” is waiting for you. (“Oh, there he is. Excuse me, please,” and walk away.) A wedding ring can also be part of your ensemble.
Another good “disguise” is to wear a cross, or a Star of David like many Christians in Latin America wear. It is amazing how differently people will receive you if they see one. They will seem to consider you to be a “good girl.” Honestly – I have field-tested this one.
Whatever jewelry you might wear, though, keep it simple and inexpensive. After all, you don’t want to attract thieves with a diamond-studded, gold cross.
You’ve no doubt already heard it many times: Ignore the catcalls and the whistles. Look straight ahead and keep walking. Move away.
But if it gets too aggressive, do not hesitate to use your voice forcefully, and LOUD. Probably the best word to learn in Spanish is, Déjeme! Leave me alone! This will usually stop any assault and draw others’ attention.
I asked a mother and daughter in Mexico City how they handle the infamous grope sessions on the rush-hour subway. The daughter picked up her spike-heeled shoe, and the mother pulled a very long hatpin from her purse. Enough said.
I know, I know, you are on vacation and you want to have a good time.
But you might want to consider for this short while of your trip, to moderate your liquor and drug intake. As a woman solo traveler, you are already a likely target for theft by being a foreigner, and with that stamp also comes the belief you must be rich. So, keep your wits about you as much as possible. You don’t want to dar papaya.
It will not only help to protect you from possible theft, but also from the possible “on-the-spot fines” from law enforcement. Or, prevent an occurrence of what had happened to the U.S. Olympic swim team in Rio.
If you do have a drink out in a restaurant, nightclub, casino or elsewhere, always make sure that bottles are opened in your presence. Keep your hand over your glass or bottle, to prevent someone from slipping a drug into it. Never leave your drink unattended.
In the realm of personal matters, fellow women solo travelers, keep the following in mind:
Tampons are extremely expensive in Latin America. Seriously, over $3 for a box of eight and virtually non-existent outside of the big cities. Consider packing your own supply or using an alternative method for your menstrual flow like a cup (or sanitary napkins as local women use these).
Likewise, birth control is difficult to find outside of large cities.
If you believe you may have sexual relations during your trip, pack some condoms in your first aid kit. Always use protection to prevent an unwanted pregnancy or disease. I know at least three women who were HIV infected from their holiday “adventures.”
Another annoyance is yeast infections. With a high sugar diet, even in fruit juices, coupled with tight clothes and the heat and humidity, it is no wonder sometimes travelers come down with a good case of candida. To minimize your chances of developing one, watch your sugar intake, and wear loose clothing and cotton underwear.
The joys of being an older woman solo traveler!
First, there is the respect that Latin American societies still show to their elders, both to men and women. And if you don’t want an imaginary “husband” hanging in the shadows, you can say you are a widow.
Atop that, there are no tampons you have to be hauling around. Do take extra care with protecting yourself with sexual relations. But remember, don’t align to that Hollywood caricature of the “cougar!
But two images that we still have to face the same as younger foreign women: that we must be rich, and that we are the “weaker” sex.
In a nut shell: It is all a matter of common sense and trusting your gut feelings.
Relax – and enjoy the ride!
For more tips on traveling in South America, see my other article here.
Lorraine Caputo is a travel writer, poet, and translator. She has authored 10 guidebooks for South America. Her literary works appear in over 150 journals in Canada, the US, Latin America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and Africa; 18 anthologies and 12 chapbooks – including the collections of travel poetry, Caribbean Nights (Red Bird Chapbooks, 2014) and Notes from the Patagonia (dancing girl press, 2017). For the past several decades, she has been traveling through Latin America, listening to the voices of the pueblos and Earth. Follow her travels at www.facebook.com/lorrainecaputo.wanderer.
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